it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
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I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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