You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
