Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
