Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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