i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
