Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
