I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
