i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
