I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
