she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
