you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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