You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
