apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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