I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
