Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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