If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
