end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
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