you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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