3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
