Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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