I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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