It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
