is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
