whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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