What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
