so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
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Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
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OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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