Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's shark week go big or go home
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
