We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He is an equal opportunity slut.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I got inside last night via doggy door
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
