My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
