I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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