oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize