Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
