End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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