I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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