One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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