Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
