I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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