I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
