I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
