belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Randomize
