just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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