One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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