i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize