why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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