Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
