Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
