All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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