my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
