as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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