Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think people are normalizing furries
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
