i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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