I need help removing her.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
