This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
