At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
