Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
