NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize