Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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