i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize