last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
