I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
